A guest post from Bel.
I do love having the latest fashion news sent directly to my inbox. I don’t love when it is filled with body dismorphia, cliched clothing and tacky writing.
The immediate clanger here is the obvious ”enhancement” that has gone on with the image of the model on the bottom right.
Perhaps it is some snazzy move that I missed the week I skipped America’s Next Top Model, but as far as I am aware, Tyra has not yet let us all in on a pose that instantaneously whittles your waist down to the width of your head. Practically miraculous, especially when you have two other photos of normal-sized waist to compare it to!
Overall, it was just plain disappointing to get a whole e-newsletter devoted to touting the joys of NAUTICAL. Nautical, you guys! Did you hear? It’s in! It’s in this summer! And do you remember last summer? Um, yeah – just like then! What’s that? The summer before… uhhh… maybe?
Pardon? Ever since Jean-Paul Gaultier’s debut collection in 1976? Or maybe since Gabrielle Chanel busted out a top she borrowed from the sailors of Brittany back in the 30s? Hmmm… interesting points. Fashion is know for being cyclic, but really, trying to act as if as there is a trend popping up when we’ve had nothing but blue and white stripes flung at us for season after season seems to be taking it a little far!
And it must be said, I love me a good pun [see: above]. This is a trait passed down from my mother, who is also a Scrabble champion and cryptic crossword queen. But “I heart bouys” is weak on so many levels. For one, it just draws my attention again to the fact that they are trying to act as if this whole nautical baloney is new and fun and exciting.
It also taps into a pet peeve of the way mainstream fashion retail stores, which used to cater for women in their 20s with a professional focus, are aiming more and more towards the teenage market.
“I heart bouys” is the kind of lame-arse thing you might see mass-produced in Supre, a shop where the sizing alone lets you know that their target audience is people who have not yet developed mature hips and breasts. It’s not a good fit with the usual ‘wear it from work to the club’ stuff that comes out of Portmans, and goodness me, not much upsets me more in the world than inconsistent branding!*
*Things that upset me more in the world than inconsistent branding:
- That funding for evening classes has been cut and Education Minister Anne Tolley has suggested as the option for refugees to New Zealand who were using this as their way to become proficient in English, that they will now be allowed to apply for student loans.
- That the food from Satay Kingdom in Left Bank is cheaper than the food from the Thai place on Cuba, but their portions are smaller and I always feel too stuffed after a Satay Kingdom laksa.
- Murray McCully. I really hate that guy so bad.
- Finally deciding to use a voucher and finding out that it has expired. Gahh!
