Here’s me standing on a chair posing in my living room. I am wearing a vintage dress gifted to me in Brisbane by a wonderful friend named Michelle Younghusband. I love it so much because I don’t own anything that fits me quite as well. It’s cotton, and lined with one underskirt for a bit of flamenco feeling. I’m wearing it with Amie McCarron’s Parisienne black beaded choker necklace, and my favourite pair of brown leather boots. These were a major splurge for me, but I have never regretted the purchase – they are flat for walking the hills of Wellington (and climbing the odd tree), made in Italy, and brought from a fancypants boot shop in New Farm, Brisbane (my old posh hood). Red velvet curtains complete with broken curtain rail, low lit lamps and half-full wine glass complete the look.

Actually, I have lots of favourites, but this has to be top.

I’m wearing a bespoke linen suit by Mandatory, and a custom tab-collar cotton shirt from Rixon Groove. The tie is from Little Brother, with a vintage pearl tie pin from Marvel, and the Gatsby cap by Goorin is from Rex Royale. Out of shot, I’m wearing two-tone pointed brogues from Atticus and a pair of cufflinks that I believe belonged to my paternal great-grandfather and are the closest thing I have to a family heirloom. The whole ensemble is set off delightfully by the ultimate accessory: a beautiful “Shirley” from the house of McGill.

Nothing beats a tailored suit for elegance and flattery: as soon as I put it on I feel 10 kilos lighter and two inches taller. What I especially like about this outfit is the balance of formality and summery casualness. I tried it first with a lighter shade of tie and no cap, and it looked like I was off to a wedding. The floppy cap gave the whole outfit the jauntiness of a garden party from The Great Gatsby, which was the exactly look I was after for Amy’s 1920′s-themed party.

… a cheeky grin, a subtle off the shoulder red number with matching red nail polish.

The string affair holding in the monster belly was supplied by Tether The Beast and actibviated by a coordinated effort from all The Riversdales

The “no hair” was by Mistake Of Miramar and discovered to be such when watching Little Britain to discover the character of Daffyd ISN’T BALD!

The arm tat peeking into the picture is “The Classic” obtained by someone or other in Swindon (UK) when I was young … I love it.

And the whole ensemble is topped off by a solid silver Wellington hand crafted wedding ring … she loves when when I wear this.

So in this picture, I am wearing:

• Sequinned shrug from Ezibuy: I like that this makes me into a human discoball – it’s fun riding in a cab in the sunshine in this, but because it’s not lined, it does irritate my arms. If I’m smart I will wear a barrier cream under it, but if I’m not, then I end up with red itchiness. So that’s not ideal.
• The bronze-coloured belt is also from Ezibuy. I like wearing it to bring out my waist – even if I make my waist very high up in it. I also like how thick and chunky it is – to me it’s like strapping on superhero armour. It makes me tough and hot.
• What you think is a dress is actually a dress from Farmers that is a size too small for me and therefore way too short, with a skirt from Farmers that is too big and stupid-mid calf length over the top of it, pulled up to right under the boobs. That way it’s a perfect length!
• My red bra is from Lane Bryant in New York. It’s padded (although I have taken out the airbags), deeply plunged, and very hot. It is my party bra, and I don’t care if it looks tacky that it shows. I’m tacky.
• My necklace is amber beads that I stole from my mother’s jewellary box, which I think she stole from her mother. Sometimes I wear more over-the-top jewellary with this outfit, but apparently that night I was trying to be more subtle.
• My makeup and hair in this photo were done by Amy in a Mad Men inspired style. I’m not normally this glam-looking. And if I look grumpy in the photo, well it was Election Night and we lost to the Dark Side.