I wanted to do a post about how fricking stupid an idea I think coloured tampons are, but it turns out that they’re such a stupid idea that neither Amy or I can find anything about their brand name or their existence in New Zealand, so I will curtail my rants about how probably the last thing anyone needs in their twats is more chemicals, and how it’s just going to end up rust-coloured anyway.

Instead, I will point you to two things. Firstly, I love me some Moxie tampon tins, and I like the fact that they are not Johnson & Johnson all up in my vag. Tampon tins are bloody handy, especially because once you have them, you can fill them up with bulk no-name tampons, or organic cotton ones, and not have them get all smooshed up and ripped open in your handbag. Plus you’re saved the OMG SHOCK HORROR of what if a boy went in your bag and discovered that OMG SHOCK HORROR you have your period? The one thing I don’t like about Moxie is that their slogans are “With Moxie it’s always the right time of the month” and also “Stay Pretty”. Both of which are pretty patronising.

And while we’re complaining, let’s talk about tampon ads and how much they suck. In fact, let’s let Jezebel do it for us. Blue liquid may be no more, but cat toys, beavers, the size of your boyfriend’s cock and YOU CAN’T SLEEP HOW YOU WANT TO BECAUSE YOU ARE BLEEDING YOU WEAK AND FEEBLE WOMAN are all pretty repulsive in their representations of what it is to have a period. It’s blood. It comes out of your vagina, because vaginas are made to make babies with. Deal with it. I echo one commentator’s call for ads that are like “This tampon is easy to insert, will not give you thrush with its soggy cord, and we have minimised the packaging on them, off you go” would be a good start.

Also, I would like to start using a moon cup. Who has tips for me? And also, tell me period horror stories, just because you can. Thanks!