Ria van Dyke was crowned Miss Universe New Zealand 2010 at the Duxton Hotel on June 5. It was a very Wellington event: classy, with a great, supportive crowd, and even a nice, fine June day to boot.

Wellington hasn’t had a Miss Universe New Zealand pageant for some 20 years, and in typical capital fashion, we were marvellous hosts. Not only did the Duxton come to the party, the Museum Hotel hosted the girls and two of the judges, and the Bolton Hotel helped with inner-city car parking. Farmers Lambton Quay played host to an afternoon where the contestants had a chance to work in the beauty department. Mish Mosh on Courtenay Place gave the contestants a chance to chill out the night before the interviews. Johnsonville Shopping Centre and Kilmarnock Home in Berhampore gave everyone extra opportunities to contact members of the public. Finally, the contestants literally stopped Parliament during one of their tours as they stepped in to the gallery.

This was the most cooperative, professional and flash Miss Universe New Zealand I’ve ever judged—and I now have four of these events under my belt. That’s not counting some of the work I’ve done for Miss Sweden over the years. It’s not inter-city rivalry talking. Somehow, Wellington just inspired more decency. There were no girls in cliques. Those who might have done what I call ‘the Auckland pageant circuit’ were far away from any folks who could have egged on any nastiness. Even the Wellington media—Matt McLean and Corinne Ambler from TVNZ, and Laura McQuillan from NZPA (We love Laura! She is our precious sparklepony! – Jo) —reported fairly without having any agenda. The radio stations—including the Breeze, X105 and Wellington-owned Groove 107·7 FM—interviewed various contestants.

Nightline attempted to critique the pageant on cultural diversity grounds, though the reality is that the national finals have no control over who is sent to us during the heats. I think having one Indian out of thirteen is roughly the proportion we have in New Zealand, while many contestants were melting pots that one would expect to see: Filipino, Chinese, Maori and Croat origins were present alongside the usual occidental ones of Portuguese, Spanish, French, Swiss and Anglo–Saxon.

Post-pageant, there were next to no sarky comments on the beauty blogs (We’re a bit slow – Jo). People liked Ria—and for once we didn’t have all the BS about the pageant being ‘rigged’ by its director. I know there are aspects of pageants that are anachronistic, stemming from the ideas of objectification. Or the media’s obsession with thin. They are both valid criticisms, each capable of occupying entire doctoral theses. However, I still maintain that any young woman can win, if she displays the sort of confidence Ria did, both on the final night and an earlier evening. Then, she had to be interviewed by the five-strong judging panel in an Apprentice-style setting inside the Museum Hotel. Thanks to the more intellectual approach of the judges, there are pluses to this—namely the confidence the contestants gain. I’ve seen some go from nervous post-teens to confident young women.

I’m barred from discussing the judging in detail—sadly, I don’t make the rules on this one—but I can say that Ria impressed us strongly in the private interview session, where yours truly is said to be the ‘Simon Cowell’ of the pageant. I take exception to this description, as I have had no Botox. This year, I was joined again by Evana Patterson, an Auckland-based model scout who was, in fact, born here. She’s been with the pageant world for some time, so being my mayoral opponent’s niece is a coincidence. Carl Manderson of Salute in Lower Hutt and Samantha Hannah, stylist, joined us. Certainly not least, pageant veteran Dina Janse von Rensburg flew in from Auckland to round off the quintet.

My own interest is being on a judging panel to find the smartest, most capable young woman to represent New Zealand. Each year, I believe we’ve succeeded. Some cynics might say that I should turn a blind eye to pageants if I agree that they are based around a narrow definition of attractiveness, but I’d rather be in there to get us the brains to go with the beauty—inner and outer—than base this competition on looks exclusively. In fact, one former Miss New Zealand told me that many of her overseas competitors were, indeed, bimboes. That’s not the way I want Aotearoa to be seen. And bimbo is not a label that could ever be levelled at Ria—or, for that matter, Miss Wellington Regan Hillyer, studying for her M.Arch. at Vic, or Nafeesa Moses, who already has her MA. Ria’s own master’s area is on women’s studies in sociology, so if anyone’s aware of the relevance (or irrelevance) of pageantry in the modern world, it’s her. Love or hate pageants, they’re here and they’re experiencing a renaissance. And I believe we found the best winner in years who will do well in representing New Zealand at Miss Universe in Las Vegas, Nevada, in August.

I have the same argument every time I talk about Flight of the Conchords, which as it happens is quite often. I reckon Bret is way hotter than Jemaine, so I just don’t get why some of my friends think Jemaine is. I know the Conchords have wives and stuff and I don’t mean to belittle their status as talented entertainers, but I really need to know what you think…

(pic from http://www.whorange.net/whorange/mag_hag/)

Actually, I have lots of favourites, but this has to be top.

I’m wearing a bespoke linen suit by Mandatory, and a custom tab-collar cotton shirt from Rixon Groove. The tie is from Little Brother, with a vintage pearl tie pin from Marvel, and the Gatsby cap by Goorin is from Rex Royale. Out of shot, I’m wearing two-tone pointed brogues from Atticus and a pair of cufflinks that I believe belonged to my paternal great-grandfather and are the closest thing I have to a family heirloom. The whole ensemble is set off delightfully by the ultimate accessory: a beautiful “Shirley” from the house of McGill.

Nothing beats a tailored suit for elegance and flattery: as soon as I put it on I feel 10 kilos lighter and two inches taller. What I especially like about this outfit is the balance of formality and summery casualness. I tried it first with a lighter shade of tie and no cap, and it looked like I was off to a wedding. The floppy cap gave the whole outfit the jauntiness of a garden party from The Great Gatsby, which was the exactly look I was after for Amy’s 1920′s-themed party.

… a cheeky grin, a subtle off the shoulder red number with matching red nail polish.

The string affair holding in the monster belly was supplied by Tether The Beast and actibviated by a coordinated effort from all The Riversdales

The “no hair” was by Mistake Of Miramar and discovered to be such when watching Little Britain to discover the character of Daffyd ISN’T BALD!

The arm tat peeking into the picture is “The Classic” obtained by someone or other in Swindon (UK) when I was young … I love it.

And the whole ensemble is topped off by a solid silver Wellington hand crafted wedding ring … she loves when when I wear this.

(This guest post is courtesy of PPP P.A.G Hadyn)

When the lovely Miss Amy and Miss Joanna gave me the brand new Dollop pomade I was skeptical. After all, I am a Dapper Dan man and have been for years. But, friends, I can tell you I have changed my tune.

Dollop’s pomade is, like any pomade, greasy to the touch and is perfect for creating those beautiful Donald Draper hairstyles that all the ladies like these days.

Hadyn or Murray or Don?

What sets Dollop apart is the wonderful smell. Dollop’s spicy ginger fragrance is incredibly nice and is a nice change from the usual chemically smells of other men’s hair products. And best of all it’s all natural ingredients.

The texture of Dollop pomade may put some guys (and girls) off. It is a greasy oily and can give your hair a dirty feel. But don’t worry, it softens during the day and feels like “normal” after an hour or two.

Also the clever both-ways-up Dollop logo means I always know what I’m reaching for (no matter my state in the morning).

(And as a person with long hair who usually doesn’t do very much to it, I think a tiny little bit of Dollop rubbed through makes a really nice light setting product, but Hadyn stole the stuff away before I had a proper chance to experiment with it)

First, there’s the Black Opal comp – if you’re in Auckland, or have dear friends in the Big Smoke, then enter!

Second is the Linden Leaves comp – manly man-smells could be yours!

If you come along to the TAWAs award night, you’ll go into the draw to win a gorgeous prize pack from Linden Leaves but if you can’t make it on the night, or if you simply can’t wait to try their lovely stuff, we have a Pure Man Soap on a Rope to give away. I think the soap smells like rosemary, strangely enough given that’s one of its main ingredients, while Jo goes to far as to say “If I wasn’t happy being a crazy cat lady, I might be tempted to leave this soap under my pillow so that I could imagine that there was a gorgeous-smelling man sleeping next to me at night, But I’m not that lame, honest!”

If you wanna win the soap, just tell us what your favourite nominee in the TAWAs is before voting closes next Tuesday, and we’ll draw it with the randomiser.